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One of the things I have noticed since I have been in LA is an occurrence I am calling "Wayne Newton Mouth." Wayne Newton Mouth or WNM is when a person has plastic surgery on their face and end up with Wayne Newton's mouth. I noticed it on a woman at the gym, it was on the guy with the camouflage pants and "Just for Men" dyed hair biking at the Grove. I think everyone who gets plastic surgery gets the same mouth. Don't believe me? Let's take a peek.
This is Wayne Newton
Look at his mouth. I have seen clowns at children's parties with a less creepy mouth. (Obviously there is a lot wrong with the Wayne Newton photo: the make-up, the eyes so tight he looks like he's impersonating Renee Zellweger, the Mystic Tan, the old-man chest hair, but today we are focusing on just the mouth.)
And she has some weird boobs. It is as if she asked for a mid-belly boob job. "I want HUGE boobs, hovering over my belly button."
Jocelyn Wildenstein has a horrifying example of WNM. Jesus, that woman is scarier than the "Hostel" movies.
How do you think me and my daughter look with Wayne Newton mouth?
Pretty hot.
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11 comments:
So it's like a new mouth?
Sadly, I know people with this w n m. Oh yes, they don't even realize we talk about them behind their backs.
I say, we must pitty the victems of this affliction.
You look like Ali Lohan with that fake mouth.
I guess your readers aren't quite old enough to remember Wayne in his younger days. If you were, (and you can dig up a photo to corroborate this) you would realize that Wayne Newton is a lesbian which might make you go a little easier on the mouth thing. After all, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.
I remember watching a National Geographic special where a wild dog was chased up a hill by a pack of wolves. The dog looked at the cameraman with pleading eyes for help. Meg Ryan's eyes have that same look.
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