Sam is from Indiana and the fact that he is a Yankees fan rightfully annoys Matt Felix. So Matt wrote Sam this email:
If you don't identify w/ the Midwest,it should be a natural progression for you, as a man of fine tastes and good breeding, to embrace New England along with it's fine sports teams w/ their rich traditions. You are with a great gal who is born and bred. NY has no real unique culture aside from commerce and the various ethnic groups. CA is shallow and modern. Of the commonly recognized geographic regions of the United States, only New England offers a non-pathological culture that you can really sink your teeth into. It is the the land of wooden ships and iron men. It will never be too late to admit the mistake you made by becoming a Yankees, Lakers and Cowboys fan. And what an incredible gesture it would be to your special one as well as yourself. C'mon over from the Dark Side, Sam! We are all ready to welcome you into the NE sports family.
I couldn't agree more. Go SOX!!!