Sports Illustrated: Illustrating My Nightmares

This may be the worst SI cover in the history of all mankind. Look at this shit. HOW LAME IS THIS? This cover makes me ask so many questions:

- Is Mariano Rivera a Palm Springs housewife?
- Who is Andy Petite blowing a fart at?
- Is Derek Jeter so impressed with his fragrance (Avon presents Derek Jeter's "Driven") that he doesn't have to be a part of this tomfoolery?
- WHY IS JOSE "NO NUTS" POSADA A KNEE-TOUCHER?

Seriously, what the f-bomb is Posada doing? I am wretching as I write this. He is not touching one Yankee knee but two. He manages to get a full-palm on Rivera and a light graze on Petite. What the hell is wrong with monkey-ears? What is going on Posada, were you so unloved as a child you think this is a hug, you dummy?

This is the worst photo is the world. This is like seeing a picture of Hitler, Pol Pot, Idi Amin and Dick Cheney doing the hokey pokey.